Ari Koinuma on Penny Lane and Eleanor Rigby

Me: “How’s my father?”
Doctor: “Not well. he has Pennylaneitis”
Me: “What is that?”
Doctor: “We’re not quite sure but it’s in his ears and his eyes”

Speaking of which - here's a couple of interesting video lessons from Ari Koinuma

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70+ Songwriting Tips From The Beatles
The BeAtletudes
About Beatles Songwriting Academy
Let's Build An Airport EP

FAWM 14, The Fab 4 And The Decisive 5

February Album Writing Month (FAWM) is just a warm memory now but I wanted to share a Beatles-flavoured spoken-word improv oddity from Paul Turrell (aka Hoopshank) - just like Yesterday it was inspired by a dream!

Enjoy The Decisive Five

Once upon a time, there were four red Mini Metros. 

[For those who don't know, the Mini Metro was a car made by the British manufacturer Austin intended to be a successor to the Mini. It was very popular in the UK but enjoyed nowhere near the international success of the original Mini]

In the first red Mini Metro were the four Beatles, all in a good mood. In the second red Mini Metro were the four Beatles, all slightly annoyed. In the third red Mini Metro were the four Beatles, all extremely angry. In the fourth red Mini Metro were one Beatle from each of the first three red Mini Metros. That's not to say that there were only three Beatles in each of the first three red Mini Metros - there were four. And there were four Beatles in the fourth red Mini Metro, even though there was only one Beatle from each of the first three red Mini Metros. The sixteen Beatles in the four red Mini Metros were having an argument which was eventually resolved. So who were the decisive five?

You can check out my FAWM songs here especially I Too Need Love - the Harrison/Beatles influenced song I wrote and recorded from scratch in 58 minutes

70+ Songwriting Tips From The Beatles
The BeAtletudes
About Beatles Songwriting Academy
Let's Build An Airport EP

Here Comes A Pun - The Best #BadBeatlesSongs

I Wanna Hold Your Handlebar Moustache (After I Rip It Off Your Hipster Face)

Ask Me Why One More Time And I'll Kill You

I'm Looking Through YouTube

Something (About The Way Eric Clapton Looks At You Makes Me Very Suspicious)


I've Just Seen Face (From The A-Team)

I Am The Walmart

W.C. Fields Forever

Iraqi Raccoon

I Want To Smell You

I Saw Her Stand-In, Cher

Why Don't We Do It In Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road'

With A Little Help From The Cast Of Friends

While My Guitar Gently Makes Passive Aggressive Remarks

Do You Want To Know A Secret? Click Here!

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely eHarmony Profile

With A Little Help From Depends™

Lucy In The Sky With Lou Diamond Phillips

A Hard Day's M. Night Shyamalan

She Came In Through The Bathroom Window, So I Stood My Ground And Shot Her Because Of The 2nd Amendment

Lucy In The Conservatory With The Candlestick

Strawberry Fields For The Foreseeable Future

Scabies, You're An Itch Man

We All Live In A Yellow Three-Room Trailer

Rocky Racoon IV

Got To Get You Into My Lifeboat

Happiness Is A Warm Nun

I Want To Hold What's Left Of Your Hand

The Ballad Of Just Yoko

Twist And Shout And Bop And Flick And Pull

I Wanna Hold Your Hair While You Puke

Lucy In The Walmart Bathroom With A Tub Of Macaroni Salad

Got To Get You Into My Walrus

Ticket To Nickleback

You Know My Meme, Look Up The Hashtag

The Long And Binding Cell Phone Contract

Lucy In The Sky With Diarrhoea

I Want You (To Clear My History On My Computer)

While My Guitar Gently Sits In The Corner Of My Living Room Because I Have Kids Now And No Time For Musical Pursuits

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Abe Mich€lle Bhadpun @dubiousrhetoric

Song titles by

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Sean O'Shea @sos_write @angelacobb Thomas P. Krepelka @singerman2000 @ReidParker
Ms. Em @Emphoto21Tom Pilcher @tomBBY Leo @take3Prods CB @mcSevenPhardts @JohnnyO_71 @ZeBigWeb Damian Carvill @dcarvill Sheri L Dodge @amaaineia Alison Quinn @missalisoquin Kirk Fox @kirkfox kentuckychrome @kentuckychrome Stuart Tiffin @seckabat
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Davho Pldal @snarkOnTap Thomas Green @notThatTomGreen


Under The Influence: Agent Kay

This is gonna replace CD's soon; guess I'll have to buy the White Album again

Agent Kay's second favourite artists (after Elvis) in Men In Black 1997

The Beatles At The London 2012 Olympics

In one form or another the Beatles made 8 appearances at the 2012 Olympics...

But here's one you may have missed...

And here's a nice little behind the scenes vid of Paul's performance

More Beatles related humour here 

Hey Jude-O-Grams

Sorry folks, I couldn't resist sharing this with you

More Hey Jude humour

Songwriting Wars!

Dan Bruno asked a really thought provoking question on Twitter today -

So: If you assume every Beatles album is a songwriting contest between John and Paul, on which album does John win by the largest margin? 

I'd love to hear you answers.

My gut feeling is A Hard Day's Night - Lennon's stronger on Help! But so is McCartney. I'd say he beats McCartney on Abbey Road, but then both are pounded into submission by Harrison there.

And who's the winner on Beatles For Sale - Carl Perkins?!

C'mon - leave an argument and start a fight! (this is the internet after all!)

Catch 22 Love Songs From Grant Woolard

This is really clever and it makes my head ache. You may like it.

Apparently the 22 songs Grant Woolard is singing all together are

In order of first appearance: 1) All You Need Is Love 2) Love Me Do 3) She Loves You 4) I Feel Fine 5) I Want To Hold Your Hand 6) Can't Buy Me Love 7) While My Guitar Gently Weeps 8) I Should Have Known Better 9) With a Little Help From My Friends 10) Lovely Rita 11) Eight Days a Week 12) Here, There and Everywhere 13) Yesterday 14) And I Love Her 15) For No One 16) All My Loving 17) From Me To You 18) I Will 19) This Boy 20) Across the Universe 21) P.S. I Love You 22) Girl

The Best Of Let It Be (pt.2) - One After 909

One After 909 occupies a pretty unique place in rock history.

It was a song that was recorded just after their first album (during the From Me To You sessions) but appeared on their final release (Let It Be) instead – a full 7 years later. The first version was released (on Anthology 1) about 20 years after the second, meaning in almost everyone's perception the 'cover version' is the original. I can't think of another song by any band that has the same convoluted history.

LIB – A raucous version from the famous rooftop concert featuring Billy Preston. The band swing the rhythm, McCartney plays a root/fifth bass line pretty much throughout. The lead guitar (Harrison) is panned right. The track ends with applause from the handful of people on the roof and Lennon sings a line of Danny Boy. There are no Spector overdubs.

LIBN – A light remix of the LIB version. Very slightly louder overall, drums louder but Harrison's guitar is panned more center making it harder to distinguish between the guitars. The track fades quickly in order to cut the applause and Lennon's comment. McCartney's BVs are lower but Lennon's off mic “ad libs” are much louder.

A1 - A composite of takes 4 and 5 recorded on 5 March 1963. The song is played in straight time, the intro is F# E B instead of B, Lennon is playing acoustic. McCartney plays constant 8th notes on bass (or tries to! - see below). Ringo adds 8th notes on the bass drum in the 'move over once' breaks.

A1 - A composite of outtakes. Take 3 breaks down when McCartney is unable to keep up playing fingerstyle. An argument ensues about suitcase between John, Ringo & Neil Aspinall. Take 4 breaks down when Lennon comes back in 4 bars early after the solo. More arguing. Take 5 is the solo till the end (but fades out early).

There's hardly anything to pick between LIB & LIBN but LIB just edges it because the lead guitar is clearer and it doesn't have that awkward fade on the end. The outtakes on A1 are hilarious and well worth a listen. The complete version on A1 is the best in my opinion, even though it clearly has more in common with I Saw Her Standing There than Get Back. The take has an energy that LIB never achieves and though the playing is equally as ropey, it's because they're inexperienced youths rather than jaded rock stars playing in sub zero winds.

Best version: Anthology 1

abbreviations

LIB - Let It Be
LIBN - Let It Be Naked
A1 - Anthology 1

Thanks to The Beatles Bible for background info

What's Your Basis Beat?

This line-up may at first seem dull but it must be appreciated that as the boys have above average instrumental ability they achieve surprisingly varied effects. Their basis beat is off-beat, but this has recently tended to be accompanied by a faint on-beat; thus the overall sound is rather reminiscent of the four in the bar of traditional jazz. This could possibly be put down to the influence of Mr McCartney [Senior], who led one of the top local jazz bands (Jim Mac’s Jazz Band) in the 1920s.

A very young Paul McCartney struggling to describe the Beatles style circa 1960


Taken from the very intriguing Early Beatles Songs website. Check it out.

A Short Diversion On The Dubious Origins...

Being A Short Diversion On The Dubious Origins Of Beatles 
(Translated From The John Lennon) 

[John Lennon explains the origins of the Beatles in 1961]

Once upon a time there were three little boys called John, George and Paul, by name christened. They decided to get together because they were the getting together type. When they were together they wondered what for after all, what for? So all of a sudden they grew guitars and fashioned a noise. Funnily enough, no one was interested, least of all the three little men. So-o-o-o on discovering a fourth little even littler man called Stuart Sutcliffe running about them they said, quite 'Sonny get a bass guitar and you will be alright' and he did - but he wasn't alright because he couldn't play it. So they sat on him with comfort 'til he could play. Still there was no beat, and a kindly old man said, quote 'Thou hast not drums!' We had no drums! they coffed. So a series of drums came and went and came.

Suddenly, in Scotland, touring with Johnny Gentle, the group (called the Beatles called) discovered they had not a very nice sound - because they had no amplifiers. They got some. 


Many people ask what are Beatles? Why Beatles? Ugh, Beatles, how did the name arrive? So we will tell you. It came in a vision - a man appeared on a flaming pie and said unto them 'From this day on you are Beatles with an 'A'. Thank you, mister man, they said, thanking him.


And then a man with a beard cut off said - will you go to Germany (Hamburg) and play mighty rock for the peasants for money? And we said we would play mighty anything for money.


But before we could go we had to grow a drummer, so we grew one in West Derby in a club called Some Casbah and his trouble was Pete Best. we called 'Hello Pete, come off to Germany!' 'Yes!' Zooooom. After a few months, Peter and Paul (who is called McArtrey, son of Jim McArtrey, his father) lit a Kino (cinema) and the German police said 'Bad Beatles, you must go home and light your English cinemas'. Zooooom, half a group. But before even this, the Gestapo had taken my friend little George Harrison (of speke) away because he was only twelve and too young to vote in Germany; but after two months in England he grew eighteen and the Gestapoes said 'you can come'. So suddenly all back in Liverpool Village were many groups playing in grey suits and Jim said 'Why have you no grey suits?' 'We don't like them, Jim' we said, speaking to Jim.


After playing in the clubs a bit, everyone said 'Go to Germany!' So we are. Zooooom Stuart gone. Zoom zoom John (of Woolton) George (of Speke) Peter and Paul zoom zoom. All of them gone. Thank you club members, from John and George(what are friends).
First published in Merseybeat magazine page 2, issue No. 1 (July 6 1961)

You can read more background about this piece at here

Light Relief

Why did Noel Gallagher cross the road?

Because the Beatles did.

Know any other Beatles themed jokes? Leave me a comment!


Sorry for the lack of action recently. I've been working on a hip hop themed songwriting project with 20 young people.

I am working on a new Beatletude post and a double book review though

The Academy will reopen soon

More Tea Vicar?

Sexually addicted to [Yoko Ono], he was helplessly dependant, a predicament grindingly obvious in his chord sequence: the sickening plunge from E7 to Bb7; the augmented A that drags his head up to make him go through it all again; the hammering flat ninth that collapses, spent, on the song's insatiable D minor arpeggio. Nightmarishly tormented, this is a musical tryst with a succubus. No wonder the lyric consists of the same phrase over and over again. Lennon is literally obsessed.

 Ian MacDonald gets himself all worked up about the bridge to I Want You (She's So Heavy) in Revolution In The Head (pp. 343-4)

I Want To Be Your (Cave) Man

I'm a big fan of the Film Sack podcasts where Scott Johnson and co watch a (usually) bad (usually) 80's movie and then (usually) make fun of it in a very entertaining way.

This week they watched Ringo Starr starr in Caveman. It wasn't pretty.

If you like it be sure to check out the archives.

Have a great weekend.

The Facial Hair/Creativity Ratio Theorem

Studying the Beatles for the last few years, I can't help but notice the link between their creativity and varying amounts of facial hair. At long last I'm finally ready to present my findings - in song!

Want some free downloads? You got 'em!

Chord sheet The Facial Hair/Creativity Ratio Theorem CHORD sheet 
mp3 The Facial Hair/Creativity Ratio Theorem MP3

Want some more free songs? OK!

Download all my FAWM 2011 songs for free!!!
Other free songs by Matt Blick

Up next: You Never Give Me Your Shaving Cream...I mean Money




[If you're subscribed to this blog via email, you will have to click on the post's title to watch any video content (the link will take you my site).

You're Bard!

I had a lot of fun doing FAWM. One of my favourite things on the forum was a crazy Beatles/Shakespeare mash up. For example

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, and I'll try not to sing out of key.


Messers K. and H. assure the public their production will be second to none, and of course, Henry the horse, the horse, my kingdom for a horse!


A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool on the hill.


Something in the way she moves is rotten in the state of Denmark.


And in the end, the love you take looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.


Come weep with me; past hope, past cure, past help, I need somebody, help, not just anybody


Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely, Rita, meter maid. Nothing can come between us.


When sorrows come, they come together, over me.


The fool doth think he is wise, but the fool on the hill, sees the sun going down and the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round.


It is the east, and Juliet is the sun king. Quando para mucho mi amore.


Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night, sleep tight. Now the sun turns out his light.


See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! I wanna hold your hand.


Uneasy lies the head that wears the face that she keeps in a jar by the door.


What's done cannot be undone; and there's nothing you can do that can't be done.


Much Ado About Nothing you can do that can't be done.


Thanks to Wille, Nicksypniewski, Erikdidriksen, Cadams35 and all...

We'll definitely get back to a couple of Abbey Road songs next week but while we're at it here's a bit more Beatley Bard stuff. You wouldn't get U2 doing this...

Baby's In Black

A great philosopher once said "It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh...clever"

media.tumblr.com

Talkin' Bout A Revolution

Can't believe I missed this pic when I did the Laibach post...

Power to the people!

And how funny is this?!

OK mildly funny, I know... I still prefer this (no it's fell down the back of the internet. It was the Harry Enfield Beatles 50 years on...)

Hey Jude Flowchart

Here's something really fun from love all this.

In a weird way this really highlights the Beatles practice of using parallel lyrics (also known as ticket 24) which is one of the tricks they used to make their songs way more memorable, and is something I'm slowly learning to incorporate...

Thanks to songwritingscene, loveallthis, Burconsult, andrewsullivan for the heads up.

Harry And Paul As The Beatles

Back by popular demand - well I like 'em! More brilliantly observed comedy from Harry & Paul ("Your necktie's a little awry!").

George "Drugs make you go potty and start liking Indian things"