Ticket 73: Break The Rhyme Scheme

Don't Be Afraid To Break Rhyme

Lou Reed

(U2 by U2 p.196)

Rhyme creates a pleasing sense of structure and breaking it can really annoy your listeners and mark you out as an amateur BUT interrupting the rhyme scheme for a good reason can make you look like a master. Three good ways to break a rhyme are

• Look back - by rhyming your line with one in the same place in a previous verse.
• Look forward - by rhyming with an extra line still to come.
• Mess with expectations - by 'telegraphing' an obvious rhyme and them substituting the synonym or other unexpected word for humorous effect.

McCartney 'breaks' the rhyme scheme in Hey Jude's second bridge without making it feel wrong or awkward. Because the 'broken' bridge

in/begin/perform with – you/do/shoulder

calls back to the first bridge

pain/refrain/shoulders – fool/cool/colder

In Octopus's Garden Ringo ends every verse with a simple rhyme

I'd ask my friends to come and see
An octopus's garden with me

We would sing and dance around
Because we know we can't be found

But on the 3rd verse he alters the pattern

We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do

which sets up the new coda section

We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden with you


The comic power of a 'mind' rhyme comes from using the listeners' expectations against them. Setting up a rhyme with an expletive or some other embarrassing word, then dodging it at the last moment can be very effective.

I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night when I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of shaving cream

Shaving Cream (Benny Bell with Paul Wynn)

1968 Hey Jude - The Beatles
1968 I Will - The Beatles

1969 I’ve Got A Feeling - The Beatles

1969 The Long And Winding Road - The Beatles
1969 Octopus's Garden - The Beatles

Also

1932 Eadie Was a Lady - Ethel Merman
1933 Sitting On The Ice In The Ice Rink - George Formby
1937 I Can't Be Bothered Now - Fred Astaire
1946 Shaving Cream - Benny Bell with Paul Wynn
1959 The Real American Folk Song (Is A Rag) - Ella Fitzgerald
1971 L'America - The Doors - "Change the weather, change your luck / And then he'll teach you how to ...... find yourself"
1988 Kiss Me Son of God - They Might Be Giants - “Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true / That you love me... and I love me”
1989 On the Greener Side - Michelle Shocked - "You say you want to give me a run for my money / There's something I'm gonna admit / Well, it may sound funny, but Romeo, honey / I don't want none of your … love"
1991 Under The Sea (The Little Mermaid) - Samuel E. Wright – coda
1992 One More Sleep Till Christmas (Muppet Christmas Carol) - Steve Whitmire
2003 Mr Brightside - The Killers - comedy mind rhyme (0:33)
2013 In Summer [From Frozen] - Josh Gad - “Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle / but put me in summer and I’ll be a...happy snowman!"

See also

Ticket 23: Write fewer lyrics
Ticket 24: Repeat words and sentence structures
Ticket 54: Unify your lyrical imagery
Ticket 72: Embrace your mistakes

See the full list of songwriting tips here - Tickets To Write

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10:49 Hey Jude (pt.3) Rhyme Scheme Slight Return - Nicholas Tozier Guest Post

There are many excellent websites and books around but I'm fortunate to have a few real live people I can call on for advice when I hit a bump in the road as well. I'm honoured to have Nicholas Tozier from Song Written as a blogging buddy and one of my 'Beatles Brain Trust'. He's made stellar contributions to BSA in the past (here and here) and his reply to my questions about Hey Jude's rhyme scheme was so interesting I got his permission to post it here.

Hey Matt

I’d never looked at Hey Jude on the page, but you’re right; looking down the line ends is less than half the story with this rhyme scheme. There are lots of surprises in this one.

I think the simplest way to explain it is:

End-rhyme is the default in most lyrics, but verse one of Hey Jude uses chain rhyme and internal rhyme – meaning the rhymes resolve and turn around more quickly. It’s analogous to when a melody touches on the tonic for a sense of resolution, then immediately moves off the tonic.

What’s actually happening is a little more nuanced than that, but that’s most of the story.

I don’t think a linear list of rhymes does justice to this verse.

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember, to let her under your skin
Then you'll begin to make it better

Let’s reduce it to a wireframe of syllables (x), with rhyme and refrain positions labeled:

x x x x x A
x x A x x x x BR
x B x x B x x x x C
x x x x C x x BR

Whatever’s going on here, we sure can’t call it end rhyme. The rhymes tend to open at the end of one line, then resolve at the beginning of the next line. Lines one, two, and the beginning of three are straight-up chain rhyme.

Then, in the middle of line three Paul adds a plot twist with another internal “B” rhyme, surprising our ears. This sets the new rhyme-point as the middle of the line. “C” sets up as expected at the end of line three, and then “C” resolves toward the middle of the verse’s last line, like line three did.

Still, I think the best way to get a feel for the truth of Verse One’s sonic mysteries is just staring at the diagram.

Thanks again for sharing this. I had a blast trying to deconstruct it.

—Tozier

P.S. Kinda intriguing that the refrain “make it better” has a different melody each time, so we actually don’t hear it as an obvious refrain so much. Its repetition is downplayed by the melody. That might be significant to the verse’s overall lyrical feel, because the refrain is the only end rhyme, and since the melody changes, the end of the quatrain sounds less resolved, more unsettled, building our anticipation for the next section.

Song Written is one of the best songwriting sites out there. Check it out.

Related Posts

• Nick Tozier on How To Notate A Rhyme Scheme
• Matt and Nick discuss I Want You (She's So Heavy) – one of BSA's most popular posts
• What I Learned About Songwriting From A Crazy Guy In Liverpool (a guest post I did on Nick's site)
• Tozier Reviews 'Two Virgins'

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10:48 Hey Jude (pt.2) Lyrics - How Do You Solve A Problem Like McCartney?

I'll be honest folks. When I started work on Hey Jude I was tempted to induct it into the Lyrical Hall Of Shame. The combination of dummy lyrics that never got replaced, words chosen for the way they sound, and 'it-means-whatever-you-want-it-to-mean-man' attitude adds up to a lame lyric riding the coattails of a world class melody. And that's before you realise that half the song consists of the word 'nah' sung 209 times.

But digging deeper I've realised the lyrics display such structural genius that I'm more than willing to give Paul a pass on this one. But let's look at the negatives first.

Star Wars For Dummies

As was often the case, McCartney had the music locked by the time the recording started but the lyrics were still in flux (like Rocky Racoon and I Will). If you listen to the Anthology 3 rehearsal Paul doesn't have them all (or he doesn't know them). He indulged in a Yodaism in the phrase “for well you know that it's a fool” and the song contains placeholders lines, as Paul admitted

I remember I played it to John and Yoko, and I was saying, 'These words ['The movement you need is on your shoulder,'] won't be on the finished version'... and John was saying, 'It's great!' I'm saying, 'It's crazy, it doesn't make any sense at all.' He's saying, 'Sure it does, it's great.'" *

Creepy Words Of Wisdom

Secondly, the song had an odd genesis, which goes some way to explaining the bizarre interpretations that have followed.

It was optimistic, a hopeful message for Julian: 'Come on, man, your parents got divorced. I know you're not happy, but you'll be OK.' I eventually changed 'Jools' to 'Jude'**

Changing Jools to Jude cos it 'sings' better is all well and good. But this is a song written to comfort a 5 year old boy about his parents divorce, yet it seems to consist of philosophical advice on getting a girlfriend - a flower-powered take on the 'love life advice' sub-genre that dates back to She Loves You.

There were clearly other biographical currents bubbling up into the song. Paul was in the no(wo)mansland between Jane Asher and Linda Eastman. John heard it as an endorsement for his relationship with Yoko, a thumbs up from Macca's subconscious. Both Beatles were caught between their commitment to making art with multiple (even unintended) meanings and their contempt for the public reading their own meanings into Beatles lyrics. John in particular felt embarrassed at doing exactly what he condemned in others

He said it was written about Julian … But I always heard it as a song to me. Now I'm sounding like one of those fans reading things into it... Think about it: Yoko had just come into the picture. He is saying. 'Hey, Jude'-- 'Hey, John.' Subconsciously, he was saying, 'Go ahead, leave me.' On a conscious level, he didn't want me to go ahead. The angel in him was saying, 'Bless you.' The devil in him didn't like it at all, because he didn't want to lose his partner***

The debate over open interpretation was thrown into sharp focus once Charles Manson got his hands on a copy of the White Album, read murderous things into the lyrics of Helter Skelter and Piggies, and put his crazy interpretations into action.

Advice on preschool love and loss? The Pre-Ballad Of John And Yoko? Or a Dear Jane letter, containing a deep and meaningless line about a parrot?**** No wonder Manson et al had a field day.

Lennon for what it's worth never changed his assessment, calling Hey Jude

“[Paul's] best song" and “a damn good set of lyrics” *****

So what do I know? Let's look at the good stuff.

A fine line between stupid and clever

For starters verse 4 is a mutated hybrid of verse 1 and 2. This makes it feel familiar but not totally predictable. As usual the song is full of parallel words and phrases (Ticket 24)

make it bad/better/you were made

let her into your heart/under your skin

let it out/in

don't make it bad/be afraid/let me down

remember to/the minute you let her into your heart

plays it cool/a little colder

carry the world upon your shoulders/movement you need is on your shoulder


Also McCartney manages to 'break' the rhyme scheme in the second bridge without making it feel wrong or awkward.

In the first bridge the rhyme scheme is

AAB - CCB (pain/refrain/shoulders – fool/cool/colder)

but the second bridge is

AAB – CCD (in/begin/perform with – you/do/shoulder).

Feels really jarring when you focus solely on the last words doesn't it? (Another case for not keeping a meaningless dummy lyric) but in the song it sounds fine. (Be honest. Have you ever noticed it before?). McCartney's masterstroke is that he breaks the rhyme using a word that rhymes with the first bridge, so it feels right even though it's totally 'wrong'.

We've encountered this technique before in The Long And Winding Road (and Ringo break a rhyme for a different reason in Octopus's Garden) so it's high time it got it's own ticket. Welcome Ticket 73.

But the crowning achievement is the way Paul uses internal rhymes to create a kind of odd-meter, seven line stanza that transforms the verse from this

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember, to let her under your skin
Then you'll begin to make it better

into this

A7 - Hey Jude, don't make it bad
A3 - Take a sad

B6 - song and make it better
B6 - Remember to let her

C4 - into your heart
C4 - Then you can start

B5 - to make it better

More amazingly he maintains this punishing rhyme scheme perfectly through the three remaining verses

Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made
to go out and get her
The minute you let her
under your skin
Then you begin
to make it better

Hey Jude, don't let me down
You have found
her, now go and get her
Remember to let her
into your heart
Then you can start
to make it better

And there's a few other internal rhymes scattered around. The first verse contains a bonus rhyme

Hey Jude, don't make
it bad, Take
a sad song...

Beautiful. And we're not done yet. There's a few more things to say about lyrics...

Footnotes

* Paul 1974  Beatles Songwriting And Recording Database

** Paul Anthology (p.297)

*** John in David Sheff: All We Are Saying

**** Paul called the line “a stupid expression; it sounds like a parrot" Anthology (p.297)
***** John 1972 interview and All We Are Saying Beatles Songwriting And Recording Database 



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